Bernie Madoff Canned

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Bernie Madoff Canned

02/09/2009
NEW YORK -- Manhattan beverage firm Z CORP hopes to turn Bernie Madoff's mug shot into a cash cow. A new energy concoction called "Madoff Energy Drink," named after the investment banker who bilked investors out of billions, will be coming to c-stores.

Because Madoff is a lot like the Wall Street Bull, Z CORP said the energy drink is fortified with "Taurine", which is found naturally in 'orchis' (the Latin term for bull testicles). Taurine is also named after Taurus, the second astrological sign in the Zodiac. Madoff was born on April 29, 1938, in Queens, N.Y., making him a Taurus.

Madoff Energy Drink will be sold in 8.4-ounce, single-serving cans with a suggested retail price of $3 per can. The beverage will also be available in four-packs that may be chilled on the trading floor, the office or wherever a financial pick-me-up is needed. Madoff Energy Drink's controversial tag line says it all: "In Bernie We Trust!"